20 years ago today a chapter closed on my life and the lives of the others in my family.
On the 28th of February, 1987, my mother, Margaret Sadie Olsen, passed away at the age of 66.
I was 23 when mum died. When I was born my mother was 43, the age that I am now. There is so much that I wish she could have shared over the last couple of decades.
Mum wasn’t around to see me cycle across Australia for the first time, just 8 months after she passed away. She never lived to see me realise my childhood dream of working in radio.
By the time I met Pauline, mum had already been gone for close to 5 years. She never got to see her youngest child marry the woman he loved. Mum never got to hold Emily or James in her arms. How I wish she was still here to see our wonderful little family. I desperately wish that Emily and James could have met their Grandma Olsen and that Pauline could have spent time with her mother-in-law trying to unearth some embarrassing stories from my childhood.
I know that there are many significant events in the lives of my four siblings that mum has missed too. There have been highs and lows along the way but all of them would have been quite different if mum had been around to share them.
Mum’s last couple of years were spent in hospital after suffering a brain aneurysm. For most of that time she was unable to communicate with us. Occasionally she was able to say a word or two but there were other signs that would show us that she knew a lot of what was going on. Mum was pretty much paralysed so even making movement to communicate was difficult.
There were several times that more bleeding in her brain would cause doctors to tell us that mum only had hours or maybe days to live. We would all begin to grieve our loss only to find the days turning into weeks or months until there was another medical setback and the whole process would begin again. You can imagine the kind of emotional toll that took on each of us.
When mum finally left this earth I experienced a mixture of relief, sadness and joy. Relief that she didn’t have to suffer any longer, joy that she was now enjoying paradise but still the immense sadness of losing someone I loved so very, very much.
I know that the person I am today is very much a product of who mum was. I value the influence she was and continues to be in my life.
The photo in this post shows me a little younger than I am today with both my parents. You can click the picture for a closer look. Dad passed away around four and a half years ago, just days before his 83rd birthday.
Posted by Rodney Olsen
Technorati Tags: Mothers – Death – Life
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Your Mum died on Fay’s Mum’s birthday. My Mum died from a brain tumour at the age of 52. She spoke very little in the last days. We seem to have much in common Rodney. Do read Fabio’s comment on my last blog re spirituality and church.
Rodney,
What a beautiful post and tribute to your mother. Both my wife’s and my own parents are still alive, and when on occasion, our conversation turns toward the subject of their deaths, just the thought of it is nearly more than we can bear. I am reminded of the verse that says we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Charles
I am really sorry.
My father died of cancer at age 64 and it took a long while, too.
It is good we can remember our loved ones in combination with our daily lives and if it it just the sad thought that their opinion would be helpful right now.
This way they live on at least in our hearts.
Beautiful tribute, Rodney. I couldn’t imagine losing my mother so young. Thankfully, my husband and I still have both our mothers – mine is 73 and his is 85. The downside is that we live 900 miles from them.
It was such a great post Rodney! I’m really sorry for your mother, but I’m sure she’s somewhere in paradise, watching you and she’s proud of you
Beautifully said Rodney.
Lovely post. I’m sure she hasn’t missed a thing.
(I wasn’t planning on crying at my desk BTW)
What a wonderful tribute, and a beautiful photo. I’m so sorry Rodney.
What a lovely tribute, Rodney… Thanks for sharing your mother with us…what a reunion you will have in Heaven! Blessings, Debra
its sad that she missed out on so much of your life – but you know how very proud she would have been of you and how much she would have loved Pauline and the kids.
Its bittersweet remembering a parent that has passed on. My dad’s been gone since I was 15 and I miss him more now than ever.
Thank you everyone for your very kind comments. It means a lot.
I’m so sorry.