Comments on: Does Marriage Change Friendships?

By: Clare

Clare — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 09:51:11 +0000

This is a great thread. I’m a single person and I am finding that all my close friends are married or getting married and they seem to have found new social circles either through having more ‘couple’ friends or through moving and new church friends. And even though two of my friends are not living far away, I dont get invited to there new social circle.. and they only meet me for coffee or lunch.. which for me is making me feel less and less apart of there life and more like a Sunday Coffee Friendship… there is no depth any more and I feel more and more that I am having to chase them to see them or ask if any thing is happening to invite me to .. I am tired of making new single friends to only then loose them!! I like the ones i have.. and it’s like getting dumped again and again, which doesnt feel good because it feels like .. am i not good enough to be a part of there social circle any more..

am curious as to when if I meet someone if suddenly as a couple I will be invited to stuff! ouch!

By: Rodney Olsen

Rodney Olsen — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 23:48:53 +0000

Pete, sounds like the normal pattern. I know that when we first got married there was no longer the same attraction to hanging out with others all the time. We still socialised but time together was more important.

We married in our late 20s so many of our friends were already married but we still had single friends. As in your situation, many of our single friends also married.

I suppose the difficult thing is when a handful of those friends don’t marry and are left feeling like they’re on the outside.

By: Rodney Olsen

Rodney Olsen — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 23:43:28 +0000

Barbara, I think we’ve all lost touch with friends for various reasons over the years and marriage certainly seems to be a common reason.

It’s helpful when people look at the situation maturely, as you’ve done, and realise that most of the time it’s not a personal thing.

By: Pete @ biblemoneymatters

Pete @ biblemoneymatters — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:58:52 +0000

When I got married my wife and I did kind of go into our own little world for a while, and really stopped interacting with some of our single friends as much. As time has gone on, however, we’re slowing moving into a new phase where we have a lot of “married couple friends” that we hang out with, while still being able to hang out with single friends.

The funny part is, a lot of the single friends we had, are not single any longer. They are almost all married now as well.

By: Barbara

Barbara — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 01:17:10 +0000

Great conversation. I think it depends largely on the couple, but that its somewhat natural for a married couple (in the beginning of the marriage especially) to spend less time with their single friends. Its happened to me several times and I didn’t take it personally.