Author Mem Fox has opened up a controversial debate by claiming that childcare for very young children is child abuse.
According to this article at News.com.au, Mem believes that society will look back on the trend of allowing babies only a few weeks old to be put into childcare and wonder, “How could we have allowed that child abuse to happen?”.
“I just tremble,” she said. “I don’t know why some people have children at all if they know that they can only take a few weeks off work.
“I know you want a child, and you have every right to want a child, but does the child want you if you are going to put it in childcare at six weeks?
“I don’t think the child wants you, to tell the honest truth. I know that’s incredibly controversial.”
It’s a topic that we often choose not to talk about because no one likes to be criticised for the way they bring up their children.
I must admit that I get concerned with the age at which some children are handed over to others for care. I also wonder if career is so important to some people, why they choose to bring children into the equation.
There are always circumstances that will mean that a child will need care from those other than parents at a young age but the care of the very young in childcare centre is becoming a big industry. Parents are planning to have children and then be back at work within weeks.
Whichever side you’re on in the debate, I think it’s a good thing to be discussing. We need to decide if this is the way we want our society to go. Is Mem right? If we haven’t got the time to put into bringing up our kids should we really be having them?
She said a Queensland childcare worker had told her earlier this year: “We’re going to look back on this time from the late ’90s onwards – with putting children in childcare so early in their first year of life for such long hours – and wonder how we have allowed that child abuse to happen”.
“It’s just awful. It’s awful for the mothers as well. It’s completely heartbreaking,” Fox said. “You actually have to say to yourself, ‘If I have to work this hard and if I’m never going to see my kid and if they are going to have a tremendous stress in childcare, should I be doing it?’
“Babies have much higher levels of stress in childcare.”
I’d be interested in your point of view.
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I’m not in favor of parents putting their infants in childcare at such a young age. I think it’s sad and unfortunate for the babies, the parents, and society.
I wouldn’t call it child abuse though. I think that’s too harsh of a term for this situation. An infant MAY be abused in the child care center, but they also may be given the love and attention they need. It would depend on the child care center and provider.
I don’t think that its best for children to be put in childcare at such a young age, but to call it child abuse is a little extreme.
I also won’t call it abuse but I agree it’s certainly not the most ideal situation. If some one can’t afford to stay at home (I still don’t fall for it when I hear that excuse) then rather not have children. I stayed home for 5 years with my eldest, 4 for the second and 3 with the last, a great bonding time and we still survived, bought food and fuel. It’s more about people who don’t want to let go of their luxuries if you ask me. I was happy to be housewife for that long, I needed minimal clothes and make up, I could just chill out with my babies, go for walks, build puzzles and be just me!
I think (hope) my kids have benefited greatly. I feel so so sorry to see such small kids in child care. At pre school age things change and they want to social and be with friends, that’s a whole other story but not at 6 week’s old.
Our children are loosing out on their mother’s love, tenderness, rules, personality and the list goes on.
Life’s to short to waste that opportunity and I’m so glad I stayed home.
abuse is a bit strong. But I do think we have some lifestyle expectations out of kilter. Some may have to do this to survive, but I wonder how many have options they haven’t or aren’t willing to consider?
like everyone else said: the word abuse might be a bit strong but its not a great place for very young children/babies. i worked in a few child care centers it it was pretty sad the babies that were in there 3-5 days a week for anywhere from 6-10 hours a day. the child care workers were seeing more of that child than the parents were. the ratio (especially in victoria) is pretty bad too with only 1 worker for every 5 babies. that’s not nearly enough to give them the love and attention they need and deserve. out of all the babies/children i’ve worked with there were very few situations where there really was no other option (i.e. single parent with no family around). i’m sure most parents could have altered lifestyle choises so they could stay at home with their young child. it does make you wonder why people choose to have children if they’re just going to put them into care for the majority of their waking hours from such a young age.
As a Christian single female, I’m really looking forward to being a stay-at-home Mum one day. I know that means we’ll probably have to make sacrifices monetarily (although I’m saving what I can now in preparation) – but I think there’s no higher calling in life for me than motherhood. How could I pass this responsibility on to someone else? Especially someone else who could never love my child like I would, and who doesn’t share my values?
People let childcare centres teach their kids their morals – then wonder why their kids turn rebellious when they’re teenagers. Sure, not all rebellious kids are raised at childcare centres – but I’d rather my kids be taught MY way, not the Government’s way.
Give me days full of dirty nappies, housework, screaming kids and no sleep – and I’ll live a satisfied, fulfilled, sometimes frustrating but always rewarding life.
Most childcare-centres over here take children from 2 or mostly even 3 years old. I also found one that takes babies from 3 month.
I dunno… when I “had to go” to childcare at 3 I was not happy! All those strangers frightened me.
On the other hand being able to tell my mother this didn´t help, I was sent anyhow.
But six weeks?! Abuse might be a word too hard, but it sure isn´t right! Must be confusing for a baby to not hear/smell/see/feel it´s mother. Maybe this very first bonding is a very important step in life – not learned who knows how they take this subject in the future?
many forms of abuse under law….i wonder if anyone has had a hard look at it. But there is no way i would let me bub be in child care at that age, heck, im not every very fond of the idea of child care at any age, but that is a personal thing and shouldnt be legislated.
i agree we will have some incredibly disconnected and disfunctional kids, but that wont be anything new. on one hand they might be better socialy, but terrible at the family scene when they grow up.
I’m glad to see that many of these comments talk about parents rather than just mum (unlike so much of the child care debate). One of my friends went back to work 7 weeks after giving birth – this was because she was the breadwinner, able to earn much, much more money than her husband – and he stayed at home full-time with the kids, who six or so years on seem like pretty well-adjusted youngsters to me.
I still feel that so much of the discussion about child care revolves around the concept of a good mother, to the detriment of the role a father can play, and to the detriment of talking about parents.
I’d also like to point out that Mem Fox’s comments seem purely anecdotal to me. The only people I know of who put children into child care early did it because they absolutely had to – and hadn’t planned on having a child at that stage (let’s not open that can of worms). My step-sister works in a child care centre with lots of involved parents and happy children. How much does my anecdotal evidence count for? I’m yet to be convinced that we have an imminent social crisis on our hands.
Abuse is definitely a strong word.
In some cases, there is neglect, all agree it’s hard to balance it all.
I think the ideal situation is a loving parent home with the children full time.
It’s perfect, it’s ideal.
We all know though that this world we live in is far from perfect.
So sometimes the circumstances mean both need to work.
However, I think if all were right with God, there could be a way for at least one to be with the child.
We need to do with less, stop buying ‘things’ just to have ‘things’.
Lower our desires of ‘stuff’ we ‘think’ we need.
That just might change everything.
Having family and friends helping too. Didn’t it used to be that way?
My son and his wife live on next to nothing yet she stays home with the baby.
It is her position that is where she belongs. I know they depend on God for everything and have the faith in Him to do so.