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Regret

Turn Back Time

I’m sure that most of us have thought about being able to travel in time. I must admit I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about it but it certainly crosses my mind now and then.

Today I’d like to ask a simple question.

Imagine that you’re able to travel back in time and re-live just one day of your life.

Would you return to a happy day you’d like to enjoy all over again or would you go back to a day you regret to right a wrong?

If you’re game enough you might even like to say which day you’d re-live.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

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Regretting 2009

regret_1.jpgAs we start pulling down the calendars and getting ready to launch into a brand new year, I’m wondering if 2009 will be a year of regret for you.

No Regrets

Some people say that they have absolutely no regrets in life. I consider that to be foolish. It’s foolish not to learn from our mistakes and while mistakes can help to shape us and move us forward, not to feel some regret when we get it wrong is a waste of opportunity.

Having said that, I’m not a person with huge regrets. I don’t regret my ‘big picture’ life decisions but I do regret some of my actions. I regret sometimes being impatient or showing intolerance towards some people when I should be displaying grace. I regret not achieving a greater level of self-discipline in some areas of life.

Even after over half a lifetime I’m still learning and hopefully I’ll continue to turn my regrets into opportunity for improvement.

Lingering Regret

Unfortunately some people get stuck with their regrets. They let regret hold them down rather than dealing with issues and moving forward. Regrets can be helpful if they trigger change and help us to move on but many people refuse to take the next step and they live a life of regret. That regret becomes more and more toxic and robs them of the joy of everyday life. There needs to be a time to let go of regret.

In the final hours of 2009 will you be dealing with the regrets of the past twelve months? Will you be letting them go so that you can start 2010 with a clean slate?

Big Picture Regrets

Some of the worst regrets are those that come from our ‘big picture’ life choices. Career choices, relationship choices and a variety of other decisions that shape our lives can lead to fulfilment or a deep sense of regret in our later years. You may be many years or even decades away from your autumn years now, but it’s the choices you make now that will shape the way you think back on your life when that time comes. If you want to reflect on memories of a life well lived you need to live well now.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

What risks will you take in 2010? Will you dare to explore, dream and discover?

My hope for you in 2010 is that you are able to deal with anything in the past that is holding you back and that you’ll be able to fully launch yourself into a big year with big dreams and live a big life.

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Redeeming the past

regret.jpgIs there anything you can do that can’t be turned around? Can you commit an act so horrible that there is no way back? Is there anything you can do that can never be redeemed? Are there unforgivable sins that render your life beyond any kind of redemption?

New England Puritan Samuel Sewall sat on the court of judges who condemned nineteen innocent men and women to be hanged as witches during the Salem witchcraft trials of 1692. Once the trials were over he realised his heinous mistake and begged God and his community for forgiveness.

Despite being weighed down with the knowledge that he had sent innocent people to their graves, he turned his life around to champion a number of human rights causes. I’m sure that he continued to regret what he’d done but he didn’t let his past control his future. Samuel Sewell became a campaigner for a range of issues that put him at odds with prevailing thought. He was a strong voice against slavery and spoke up about the rights of women at a time when community views were very different to his own.

Samuel Sewell refused to let the mistakes of the past stop him from living a bold and fruitful life. He repented and then began again. He didn’t allow his past to consign him to a life of regret. His early mistakes could have crushed him but instead he found forgiveness and worked to make his life count.

Are there things in your past that are holding you back from life? Have you let your past rob you of your future? Is regret crippling your life?

My regular Wednesday morning guest on 98.5 Sonshine FM is Ross Clifford who is the Principal of Morling College in New South Wales and Vice President elect of the Baptist World Alliance. Each week we chat about a range of issues relating to spirituality and belief.

I recently spoke to Ross about Samuel Sewall and what we can learn from his life. You can listen to our discussion by clicking the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

The life giving message is that we are never beyond redemption. We can’t just pretend that past events didn’t happen but we can move boldly into the rest of our lives, able to make a significance difference to the world around us.

Maybe today’s the day you need to take Samuel Sewall’s lead by seeking God’s forgiveness, turning from the past, and walking with God towards a brighter tomorrow. I’m more than happy to help you take that step. If you want to know more about turning things around, feel free to visit my contact page for my email address and get in touch with me.

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Living with Regret

If a new survey is correct, you’re probably dissatisfied with your career or study choices.

This story from The Sydney Morning Herald suggests that a lot of Australians are unhappy with the way things have turned out for them. The findings come from a worldwide survey undertaken by global recruitment firm Kelly Services.

Among the key findings of the survey, 71 per cent of Australians wished they had studied further while 48 per cent wished they had studied something totally different.

Another 16 per cent said they chose the wrong career, while 25 per cent were still unsure about their career choice.

The global survey sought the views of 115,000 people in 33 countries including almost 19,000 in Australia.

It wasn’t only Aussies who were found to be regretting their choices.

Australia ranked in the middle of the 33 countries with 50 per cent happy with the way the country’s education system prepared them for working life, slightly higher than the global average of 49 per cent.

So are you happy with how things are turning out for you? Do you think you’re in the right career or that you undertook enough study to get you where you want to be? If you could do it all again, would you?

The ache of regret

Regret is an interesting thing. Our regrets are often based on an unreal idea of ‘what might have been’. We become dissatisfied with an area of life and decide that life would be so much better ‘if only’. If only I’d studied more. If only I’d taken that other job. If only I’d married sooner. If only I’d stayed single. If only I’d traveled more. If only ….. and the list goes on.

Of course we really have no way of telling if life would have been any better or worse if we’d taken a different path so it’s an unfair comparison. It’s a comparison that will never let us see our life in a positive light because our imagination tells us that other choices would have turned out so much better. It’s a comparison that will prevent us from living this moment and moving forward. Regret can be such a damaging and paralysing thing.

Regret can be a helpful thing when it informs our choices for the future and lets us move on but when it holds us to the past it can steal our joy and destroy our lives.

If I had to start all over again there would probably be a few things I’d change but when I look at how life is working out I’m pretty satisfied. That doesn’t mean that things are perfect or that nothing goes wrong in my life. There have been ups and downs but my life is full of people I love and it doesn’t get much better than that?

I guess a lot of it comes down to whether we let life’s circumstances hold us back and dictate the way we see life. If we start regretting our choices every time life throws up some kind of difficulty we’ll be disappointed most of the time.

I like what Paul said when he was writing to the Philippians.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Are there regrets you need to let go? Is it time you stopped living with ‘what might have been’ and started living with ‘what’s still to come’?

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