The secret to late night selling

July 15, 2007
by Rodney Olsen
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I’m so glad I didn’t have a phone within reach in the early hours of this morning.

I’ve talked before about my duodenitis. It’s a stomach pain that wakes me up sometimes during the night. It’s pretty much under control with medication but every now and then it decides to break through and remind me why I need to keep taking that tiny yellow tablet at dinner time every day. Last night, or should I say early this morning, it savagely attacked for the first time in months. When it happens I have to get out of bed and sit up somewhere until the excruciating belly pain subsides. That normally takes a few hours.

Anyway, back to what I wanted to talk about.

After sitting at my computer, making little sense of anything for a while, I decided to see what was on television. Do you know what’s on TV at 3:30 in the morning? Advertisements. Very long advertisements. They almost look like programmes, and last just as long, but basically they’re trying to sell you stuff. Face creams, exercise equipment, ladders, whatever they think you might need at that time of day.

This morning they were selling DVDs. But these weren’t just any DVDs, it was the Midnight Special Collection, available for the first time in Australia. This collection contains live performances on The Midnight Special television show back from the seventies. For the introductory price of just $19.95 I could have the first of the DVDs and a little booklet. They told me again and again about all the wonderful performances I’d see by people like Ray Charles, Blondie, David Bowie, Elton John, Van Morrison, Marvin Gaye, Billy Joel, Aretha Franklin and so many more.

At that time of the day I NEEDED to get that DVD set. My life would not be complete without it. Sure, the first one at the introductory price of $19.95 would only be the first of many DVDs and the rest would cost much more, though they weren’t telling me how much more, but my life would be complete with those DVDs.

A few hours later, once the pain had eventually subsided, I was able to head back to bed and get a couple more hours sleep.

Strangely enough, when I woke this morning my life was no longer incomplete without the Midnight Special Collection. I’m sure I’d enjoy watching some of those performances if I had the opportunity but I’m not fussed in the slightest by the fact that it’s unlikely to happen. There are so many things that I’d prefer than spending money that I don’t have on that collection.

So there it is. That’s how those people operate. They make sure that you’re beyond tired and then they make their product seem like it’s something that you can’t do without. Sitting in front of the television at 3:30 in the morning in desperate need of sleep and wracked with pain, I almost believed them.

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One of these days …

July 14, 2007
by Rodney Olsen
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Sometimes when I’m on my way home I see them there.

They’re young, scruffy and wearing checked flannelette shirts. They wander around between the cars waiting at the traffic lights with a squeegee in their hands. They’re looking for some poor fool who’s prepared to cough up some loose change so that they can smear their windscreen.

It’s illegal you know. The law says it dangerous to wander between cars when at any moment a green light could send dozens of cars surging forward. The fact that it’s illegal doesn’t seem to stop them though. They obviously feel it’s a quick way to make a few dollars.

When I’m driving in a car I shake my head before they get to me so that they know I don’t want them to run their mucky squeegee across the glass.

Of course, anyone who’s been reading this blog for any time would know that I do most of my travelling on my bike. On my bike I feel just a little bit different about the windscreen washing guys.

I swear that one of these days I’m going to pull up at a set o lights on my bike and call one of those guys over. I’m going to throw a coin or two their way and then get them to use their squeegee to clean my sunglasses while my sunnies are still planted firmly on my face.

Sure, I might get some of the filthy suds on my face but I reckon it’d be worth it just to see the faces of the motorists around me. I love to see their reactions.

One of these days I just might do it.

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He's back

July 14, 2007
by Rodney Olsen
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I mentioned some time ago that Backyard Missionary, Hamo, had decided to break his self-imposed, two year blogging exile after just six months.

At that stage it was a one off post to update us but there was a hint that he would return to more regular blogging sooner than expected.

Well, he’s back. You can add him back to your blog roll and expect some tasty new blogging in the coming days.

Considering that his was the blog that got me started over three and a half years ago, I’m more than pleased that he’s decided to jump back in.

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Beware the office loudmouth

July 13, 2007
by Rodney Olsen
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You’re stuck there for hours every day. Sooner or later something’s bound to annoy you.

What are the things that you find most annoying at work?

This article at News.com.au tells us that the most annoying thing for most of us is the office loudmouth. Do you really need to know your co-workers most intimate secrets? By the way that some people conduct their phone calls the answer is apparently, yes. When someone at the desk next to you takes a private call and then proceeds to speak quite LOUDLY and CLEARLY it’s hard not to stay up to date with things about them that you’d perhaps rather not know.

Another office annoyance is those ridiculous ringtones. OK, it was cute the first time …. maybe even the first two or three times. Now, it’s just annoying.

What are the things that cause you to foster thoughts of violence against your fellow workers? What about leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen? How about the people that put the empty milk carton back in the fridge or use up the last of the stationery without telling anyone?

What are your main workmate annoyances?

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The machine's breaking down

July 13, 2007
by Rodney Olsen
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I had a most unfortunate incident yesterday morning.

I was taking my small bike computer (like the one in the picture) out to attach it to my handlebars when it slipped out of my hands. I’d have to say that it bounced pretty well on the floor tiles.

It’s been telling me my speed, distance and a few other bits and pieces for quite a few years. It’s been on at least three of my five crossings of Australia, on two different bikes. I don’t know that it’s going to be much help from this point on.

Something inside has obviously cracked because the display is only showing bits and pieces of what I need to know. I still stuck it on the bike for the ride to work, hoping that it might get over the shock. I looked down during the ride at one stage to notice that I was doing ‘U’ kilometres per hour. I then pedalled really hard and got it up to ‘E’.

Somehow I think I could be in the market for a new one.

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