Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone who speaks a different language to you? You may get some of the main points across but you really don’t feel as if you’re able to freely communicate.
Author Gary Chapman believes that we face a similar situation when we try to express and receive love. In his ver popular book, The Five Love Languages, he suggests that there are five love languages. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is ‘spoken’ to some degree by all people, we will usually speak one primary language. He says that all are important and should be ranked to help us understand more about ourselves and those we love.
So what are the five love languages? Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Where do you think you fit?
The essential thought behind Gary Chapman’s work is that we can be doing our best to communicate love yet it feels that we’re just not getting through. It could be because we’re speaking the wrong love language.
Life Skills Trainer, Jill Bonanno, joined me on Friday morning on 98.5 Sonshine FM for our weekly radio segment, Simply Living. As part of our monthly Book Club we reviewed Chapman’s book and spoke to listeners who have read the book.
You can hear our conversation by clicking the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.
I’d be very interested in your point of view. Leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.
Have you heard of the five love languages before? Have you worked out which is your primary love language? Do you know the primary love languages of those you love?
Do you think some of your friends would enjoy reading What love language do you speak?? Please use the buttons below to share the post. Thanks.
Gary Chapman, let me say thanks for trying to reduce something as complex and wonderful as the love I have for my wife into a five point list. Now incase there is any issue between us I can just pull out the receiving gifts card and demand more loot.
That was how I ended my blog post about this book back in May of last year. Now let say that Chapman is most likely sincere in his desire to help people, but reducing love to a list is just not helpful.
Love is supposed to be mysterious and a challenge. I stick with my life because I love her, not because she can please me.
Thanks for your thoughts, Johnny.
One of the first things Jill said in our review of the book is that it is certainly open to people using the principles to manipulate others. If we use the book to understand how to get what we want or to have our partner please us, then we’ve missed the point but you’re right, there will be some who will use it like that.
I think that love will always be mysterious and a challenge but if I can better understand my wife in order to demonstrate my love for her, I think that’s a good thing.
I certainly see where you’re coming from and I too dislike it whenever someone claims to have the formula that will cure all our ills. We are far too complex to be reduced to that kind of understanding.
You’ve given us a great caution but I think that if read with your caution in mind, the book can be of help for some.