A new study has revealed that couples who choose to live together before marriage are more likely to have their relationship end in divorce than those who wait until after the wedding to move in together.
With more than 70 percent of couples in the United States living together before marrying, and I’d guess a similar number in Australia, this study gives an interesting insight into the alarmingly high divorce rates in both countries.
The study, carried out by researchers from the University of Denver, also shows that those who wait are more likely to have a more satisfying marriage.
An AFP article, Living together before marriage ups chance of divorce: study, quoted researchers explaining some of the main elements of the research findings.
“We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting,” said senior researcher and study co-author Galena Rhoades.
“It seems wise to talk about commitment and what living together might mean for the future of the relationship before moving in together, especially because cohabiting likely makes it harder to break up compared to dating,” said another researcher, Scott Stanley.
Of course it would be a gross over simplification to suggest that waiting leads to ‘happily ever after’ and living together is a direct pathway to divorce, but it is well worth looking at the research and seeing what we can discover.
Why do people choose living together over marriage? I wonder if it has a lot to do with seeing the breakdown of so many other marriages, especially parents’ marriages.
Some research from a separate study that has appeared in the Journal of Family Issues says the most common reason people choose to live together before marriage is that they want to spend more time together, followed by convenience, followed by testing the relationship.
Testing the relationship used to be the biggest reason but researcher Galena Rhoades suggests it’s also the worst possible reason to move in together.
Cohabiting to test a relationship turns out to be associated with the most problems in relationships.
So what do you think? Are we better off sticking with traditional values and waiting? Can living together lead to long lasting relationships if we are sure about the long term direction of the partnership or does that still lack the commitment of marriage?
Please leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.
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In my eyes, part of this article needs to be highlighted-and i think maybe it’s being taken out of context all over the web (i’ve seen several comments on it). I think the main part, as you’ve highlighted, is that couples that move in together “without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting”
I think marriage for what it is, needs to be treated as a step in a relationship that’s a life long commitment-not just something to do because you already live together.
I don’t think it’s necessarily the fact that they are living together, it’s that they’ve settled on marriage without looking thoroughly into what that means for them and the rest of their life.
Thanks for your thoughts Lindsey.
I think you’ve highlighted an important part of the study. I think there is still a high divorce rate among those who chose to wait because many still don’t really look at marriage as life long.