Could our online lives be destroying our real world lives?
The Telegraph has published an article that claims Facebook is being cited in a growing number of divorce petitions.
Apparently many people are using Facebook and other social networking sites to look up old flames or to find new ones. Many don’t see the harm in flirting with online contacts.
Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the popularity of websites such as Facebook and Bebo is tempting to people to cheat on their partners.
Suspicious spouses have also used the websites to find evidence of flirting and even affairs which have led to divorce.
One law firm, which specialises in divorce, claimed almost one in five petitions they processed cited Facebook.
So is Facebook to blame?
As we all come to terms with new technology we need to be constantly examining the boundaries that are required to keep our relationships safe, but I can’t help wondering if we also need to re-visit and reinforce some old boundaries.
My marriage vows included a promise to ‘forsake all others’ and that goes for every part of life. I started this post asking if our online lives could be destroying our real world lives but that’s really a deceptive question. It’s a question which presupposes that those ‘two lives’ are somehow separate. They’re not. The real world real you is really the person punching the keys on the keyboard and it’s really you who is flirting with another real person via a real keyboard and computer somewhere else in the world. It may be on the other side of the planet or next door, but real people are involved.
I talk about my family a fair bit on both Facebook and my blog. I’m not leaving anything open for interpretation. I love my wife and whether I’m at home, at work, out with friends or online, people should be in no doubt that I will continue to forsake all others.
I don’t buy the argument that flirting is just light hearted fun. Whether it’s online or offline, if you’re married, flirting should be reserved for your spouse.
So is Facebook fueling divorce? I don’t think so. I think it simply provides another opportunity for people to act out the things that are already in their hearts.
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I wholeheartedly agree. I have a good friend who isn’t on Facebook, primarily because his wife is not comfortable with it. Both of them have siblings that left their marriages and families for someone they met over the internet, and while she might not be questioning my friend’s faithfulness to her, they’ve made a mutual pact not to use Facebook.
I respect his willingness to keep harmony in his marriage, but my personal opinion is pretty much identical to yours – if they were going to cheat, they were going to cheat no matter where they met the person. You can’t blame the medium any more than you could blame any other. I mean, they could have rekindled an old flame after meeting up at a class reunion, or struck up a conversation with a stranger at the grocery store. Affairs can begin anywhere – even at church. Facebook is just another tool to reach out to others… to communicate what’s on your mind, and what’s in your heart.