What Programmes Our Personalities?

mainboard.jpgHave you got what it takes?

That’s the question being asked in advertising trying to attract Western Australians to train as teachers.

You know something? I don’t have what it takes. I could never be a teacher. That’s not how I’m wired. I’m very happy that some people are wired that way and I have a real respect for those who choose teaching as a profession but it’s not something I could ever do or be.

When I saw the advertisement on television this evening I was reminded of a post I wrote almost three years ago titled How are you wired?

In the post I recounted catching up with an old neighbour. Until I was 16 our family lived in a house in the Perth suburb of Scarborough. The Browns were on one side of us and the Johnsons were on the other. Glenys Johnson heard me on 98.5 Sonshine FM during my regular weekday morning radio programme. She wondered if I was the boy she knew years ago so she rang up and asked if I’d ever lived in Colin Road. From there we chatted about families and old neighbours.

At one point, Glenys said that she knew that one of us Olsens was interested in radio back then. She thought it might have been Erik, one of my brothers. “Erik?” I could never imagine Erik wanting to work in radio.

That got me thinking. How is it that the five Olsen kids, brought up in the same home, could all go on to lead such different lives? Sure, there are lots of similarities between the siblings, but there are also some big differences.

The thought of being a high school maths teacher leaves me cold but my brother Chris has been doing just that for more years than I can remember and he’s great at it. Why would a guy in his late-forties still want to be involved in youth work? I could never do that but Erik does a fantastic job working with young people.

My eldest brother trained as a fitter and turner and is now working in a management job and my sister was a nurse. All such different job choices and not one that I’d choose for myself, despite all growing up with the same parents in the same home.

How is it that we are all wired so differently?

I am constantly amazed at seeing people derive such great job satisfaction from a range of jobs that would send me crazy. We are all so incredibly different.

I love what I’m doing and I’m more than happy that God wired me the way he did to enjoy working in radio. I’m also glad that he wired others to be technical geeks, cleaners, carpenters, builders, doctors, pilots, fence installers, gardeners and so on.

How about you? How differently are you wired to those around you? Are you currently working in the job that you’re wired to do? What are some of the jobs that you see others enjoying but know you could never get excited about?



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Are you cherishing the moments?

So how did that happen?

Our little girl, the one who I’m sure was only born a few months back, is at a high school orientation day today. She’s graduating primary school and moving into year 8 next year.

Emily has grown into a beautiful, clever, intelligent young woman. It seems like just yesterday we were enrolling her in kindergarten and now she’s entering secondary school.

I’m glad that so many friends told us that the years go past way too quickly and that we should cherish the early years with our kids. I’m even happier that I took notice.

Both of our children have provided us with so many incredible memories and special moments and I know that there are plenty more to come. Our children are still quite young, Emily’s 12 and James is 10, so we have many years of growing up on the way.

Maybe it’s time for me to pass on the same advice that we’ve been given. If you have very young children or are about to become a parent, make sure you make time for your kids. Don’t imagine that working every hour that God gives to provide for them will give them a good head start in life. Give them you.

Put up with the smaller house, an older car and less flashy gadgets if you have to but give your children your time. Quality time is a myth. The quality only comes from quantity time. Build the relationships now and they’ll last a lifetime. Neglect the relationship now and you may never get the opportunity again.



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Letting your children go

I was reading this story at News.com.au this morning about a mother who had to drop her toddler ten metres from a fairground ride that had malfunctioned. Scary stuff.

Sherri Pinkerton and her daughter Gracie got stuck on the Crazy Bus ride at the fair in Port Orange, Florida, when it suddenly restarted as they were stepping out of it at the weekend, The Sun reported today.

Thankfully all ended well with no one seriously injured but it was still a tough decision for Sherri to let go of her little girl.

A group of men gathered under the mum, pleading with her to drop the child.

“She held on to the baby for probably three minutes or so then she did drop the baby so they could catch her,” Ms Craft said.

Ms Pinkerton said she would never forget having to make the decision to drop her child.

“I held on to her as long as I could until people started getting underneath the bus and told me to drop her,” she said, according to local6.com news.

“I didn’t want to.”

The men caught the child safely while Ms Pinkerton and the other passengers trapped inside the ride were rescued with the help of a ladder.

Reading the story made me think about how as parents we’re constantly in the process of letting our children go. It’s a scary course of action but we’ve got to be continually loosening our grip so that we can release them into the world. We have to be careful not to let go too soon or too late but the process begins from the day our kids are born.

We let go a little bit more every time we hand over responsibilities and decisions to our young ones. It’s not easy to stand back and watch our children suffer the consequences of their own actions but little by little we’ve got to let the ones we love reap what they’ve sown. We’re there to be their safety net but we can’t allow ourselves to swoop in and shield our children in every situation. Wrapping them in cotton wool is never the solution.

I still remember my mum handing me some decisions that I didn’t feel ready to make when I was a young teenager. It would have been so much easier if she had made those decisions but she was letting go and I’m so glad that she did. I learnt that I was responsible for my own life and I needed to discover how to make wise decisions on my own. Having her loosen her grip was a little bit scary but I found that I didn’t really fall that far before I hit solid ground. Surprisingly it didn’t hurt at all.

Now I have to continue letting go of our children. I need to hand over more and more responsibility and so that those young ones who I love so very much can learn to stand on their own two feet. It’s not always easy.

Can you remember your parents gradually letting go so that you could make your own way in the world? Are you letting go of your own kids?



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Replacing our families with faith

I had an interesting email from a reader a few days ago. He said that he no longer considers himself a Christian because he doesn’t agree with living “some of the ways we should live as Christians”.

He says doesn’t feel bad or guilty about it, in fact he feels happy that he’s doing what makes him feel happy and what makes his family happy and secure.

He made a very interesting point.

I feel that so many Christians are so wrapped up in God, church, activities for the church, giving money to the poor, helping people in the church that they lose sight of their own brothers and sisters. It seems to me that Christians are too busy with all this Christian stuff that they forget about spending time with their own family (Mum or Dad, brothers or sisters and extended family).

While he didn’t want his name mentioned, he wanted me to throw this one out for some comment.

What’s your experience?

Have you encountered this kind of attitude in Christians? Have you found yourself so wrapped up in church stuff and ministry and everything that goes along with it that those closest to you have missed out?

Here’s part of what I emailed back in reply.

I’ve seen this kind of attitude far too often in far too many Christians. People get so taken up with what they see as their ‘Christian duty’ that they lose sight of what I consider to be their greatest ‘ministry’ and calling – their family.

This kind of attitude is especially prevalent in those working in full time ministry such as pastors. I made a decision when I started working in a Christian workplace that I would ensure that my family would remain a priority. I also make a point of not getting so wrapped up in ‘church activities’ that I don’t get to spend time with those who aren’t what we might call religious. A lot of the time I prefer the time I spend with those outside the church.

My relationship with God, through Jesus, is supremely important to me but all the extra stuff that people try to add onto Christianity isn’t.

The writer of the email is smart enough to know that one size doesn’t necessarily fit all.

Maybe this doesn’t apply to all people, but it makes me feel unhappy with my own biological family. I have tried to talk to them about this in previous years and some change was there, but not enough to build a better relationship. Do I have to go back to God to have a better relationship with a member of my own family? Is this going to change anything? I don’t think it will.

What do you think?

So what are your thoughts? Are many Christians neglecting their families because they’re too busy doing what they think God wants them to do? Would God really want us to neglect family relationships? Are you able to maintain the balance between faith and family?

I think a lot of the answer could be found in the difference between what we ‘think‘ God requires of us and what he actually does require.



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An almost perfect Perth weekend

We experienced some more magnificent conditions over the weekend in Perth. It feels like spring has arrived early.

I managed to get out on my bike for my Saturday morning ride with friends for the first time in a few weeks. It was great to be able to push myself a little harder than I normally do on the daily ride to work and back. I’ve had back pain which has prevented me riding too hard for the last few weeks and while my back isn’t feeling 100% it is certainly a lot better than it was.

The scenery we get to take in on our ride is such a bonus. We live in the heart of suburbia yet it always amazes me that in just the fifty kilometres we ride together we get to experience the magnificent Swan Valley then paddocks of cows and sheep out through Hazelmere and Helena Valley before we head back into civilization to grab a coffee. I reckon it’s the perfect way to start a weekend.

On Saturday afternoon I headed to Bassendean Oval to see Swan Districts Football Club play a brilliant game against Subiaco … at least for the first three quarters. The mighty black and whites were slightly ahead until five minutes into the last quarter when Subi ran away with it. Oh well, it was a great day for watching football.

After church yesterday we headed into the Swan Valley to the Margaret River Chocolate Company. It was beautiful weather for sipping coffee in the valley but unfortunately the venue left a lot to be desired. I love going to the Margaret River Chocolate Company and sampling their wares but they were extremely busy and no one was bothering to clean up the tables in the outside cafe area. Time and time again we saw waitresses carry orders out to patrons before walking empty handed back to the cafe. Would it really hurt to grab some of the piles of dishes on your way back?

On top of that they had three reasonably talented musos playing some live music. They’re repertoire was pretty much ‘golden oldies’ but they sounded OK. Unfortunately management decided the best place to put them would be right next to several of the cafe tables. The only table we could find when we first arrived was near the ‘band’. While they weren’t turned all the way up to eleven, it was still way too loud for us to be able to chat. If I want to go to a concert, I’ll go to a concert. I don’t mind a bit of background music but if I’m sharing a coffee with family I want to be able to hear the conversation. My tip – never go to the Margaret River Chocolate Company on a nice day when they’re likely to be busy.

Now that my whinge is out of the way, it was good to catch up with family and overall the weekend was a good one.



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