My Research Project


I’m often amazed at some of the research that is carried out around the world. I’m even more amazed that someone is putting up money for some of the studies that get reported in our media.

How do our stomachs digest animal bones?

Why do Bedouins wear black in the desert?

Does relaxing make you fatter?

Do ethicists steal more books?

These are just some of the questions that have caused research projects to be undertaken. You have to ask the question, did we really need a study to discover that under money strains, some older adults will turn to alcohol? Was it really necessary to run research just to find out that traumatic brain injury frequently causes headaches? Apparently that’s just what we needed.

I love the fact that the University of Chicago made the important announcement some time back that ‘big’, ‘tall’, ‘little’, and ‘tiny’ are all words that promote important spatial skills. That was part of a study of the cognitive development of 1 to 4-year olds.

Did you know that dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas? It’s true. Research proves it. How about the research proven fact that rats can’t always tell the difference between Japanese spoken backwards and Dutch spoken backwards? Do you know that there’s even been research to discover why woodpeckers don’t get headaches?

My Research Project

So here’s the deal. I’ve just started two weeks leave. While I enjoy my job I really, really enjoy annual leave.

I would like to conduct some research to discover whether working 4 weeks a year and having 48 weeks a year as annual leave, instead of the other way around, would increase productivity. Now, don’t jump to any conclusions. The results aren’t in yet.

I need to find a scientific body or government department to fund my research. They would need to cover my wage for the weeks away from work as well as expenses. I would need to travel overseas with my family for much of the year to get the true vacation experience. I will then be more than happy to write up my research and travel to science conferences around the world to present the findings. Anyone know of any decent funding bodies?

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The World’s Greatest Car Advertisment

If advertising is all about standing out and getting noticed, then the advertisement for a used Daihatsu car recently published on classified advertising website Gumtree should win a number of awards.

The Daihatsu Feroza may not be the most exciting car available but a certain South Australian seller has created a real buzz about their old 1990 four wheel drive which has already clocked up 24 000 kilometres since new. Their advertisement for the car is popping up all over the internet. If you want a super tough car this one will only cost you around $2 800.

Let me start off by saying this Feroza is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). If it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this Daihatsu would look like Tom Selleck.

It was never intended to drive to Rundle Mall so you can pick up that adorable Abercrombie & Finch shirt that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Home & Garden. That’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favour and stop reading right now.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn’t even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or Bluetooth (real men don’t even know what the hell Bluetooth is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 4cylinder 1.6L engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a fire extinguisher in the back. You know what the fire extinguisher is for? Fire! The Feroza also has a removable roof so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists, you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the back and drive with ease. It’s saved my bacon more than once.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $2800, but I’ll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don’t walk up and tell me you’ll give me $200 for it. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There’s only 240000km on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me; it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name.

Rock on.

Let’s hope that the seller’s creative advertising skills turn into a sale very soon. I’m wondering if their next job will be selling ice to Eskimos.

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Don’t Tease the Toad

This is a great video of an African Bull Frog playing a computer game. Worth watching through to the end.

(I found this at 22 Words.)

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Sticky Note Madness

If you’re feeling bored and have an excessive amount of post-it notes you might like to try something like this.

Thanks to Barbara for pointing me to the video.

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I'm a cartoon character

BeingFive.gifWell maybe not, but I’ve now been mentioned in a cartoon.

One of the blogs I make sure I read every time it’s updated is Being Five. It’s about Georgie, ‘a kid who blogs using voice recognition software’.

The blog is written in cartoon form by the very talented George Sfarnis.

George recently asked for some readers to email in their questions for Georgie to answer. I sent in my question and was notified today that my question was being featured.

If you’re looking for some light relief, you have kids, you’ve had kids or ever been a kid, you’ll enjoy Being Five.

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