I’m Not Dead Yet

Gilberto Araujo is a 41 year old Brazillian man who has done what very, very few people will have the opportunity to do. He turned up at his own wake.

A Brazilian man shocked his family when he appeared at his own wake, police in north-eastern Brazil say.

The family was gathered around the body of what they believed to be 41-year-old car washer Gilberto Araujo when the man himself showed up, causing some relatives to faint.

The body in the coffin is believed to be that of another car washer, who relatives say looked like Gilberto. – BBC News

I wonder if he was surprised to see who was there or even who wasn’t. Of course, while it was a relief and a time for rejoicing for Gilberto’s family, there’s now another family and group of friends mourning someone they loved.

The Final Farewell

Sometimes I wonder who’ll turn up at my funeral when my life here is over. Will those who do show up have good things to say or will their silence tell a different story? I will have no chance to control what’s said when the time comes but I can do something about it while I’m still here by the way I choose to live my life. Will I leave friends and family with good memories? That’s up to me and the choices I make every day of my life.

I wonder about what kind of difference I’m making to the wider world. Will I be missed by more than those close to me? Will there be those I’ve never met who will be thankful that I was once alive? Am I making a difference through my work and through the the volunteer tasks I undertake?

Skeletons in the Closet

While we’re on the subject of our own passing, or at least I am, I reckon that something worth thinking about is having my family sort through all my belongings. I try to live an honest and open life so there wouldn’t be any surprises, but I’ve heard stories of people passing on, only have their loved ones find out later that the person they thought they knew was someone quite different to the image they had portrayed.

Wouldn’t it be awful for a family dealing with their grief to discover the person they thought they knew was hiding some dark secret?

I reckon the easiest way to avoid having skeletons in our closets revealed after our deaths is not to find better hiding spots, but to ensure that we maintain our integrity both when people are watching as well as when there’s no one else around. We tend to like ourselves a lot better that way too.

I’m not dead yet

I should probably add that all this talk about leaving this planet isn’t because I’m planning on doing so anytime soon. I’m enjoying life too much to go at the moment. I have a magnificent family, a great job, wonderful friends and a blog that needs updating regularly. I’m not planning on leaving it all behind just yet, but you never know when your time is up.

Being confident that there’s something better beyond the grave isn’t going to convince me to get there any faster than I need to. I believe in life after death but I’d like to ensure that I get to live this life first.

What About You?

Do you ever wonder how it would be if you were no longer around? Will those you leave behind remember you as someone who made a positive difference to their world? Are you involved in things that will mean that your life will have an impact even after you’re gone?

I wonder also if you believe that there’s something more than this life. Have you seriously considered what there may be beyond the grave? Is your daily life reflecting your belief?

I’d love to hear your point of view on the whole subject. I look forward to reading your comments.



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Dead People Can’t Hear You

Why is it that many people have to wait until they’re in a wooden box for others to say how they really feel about them?

You’ve probably been to funerals where family and friends talk in glowing terms of the person who has passed on and wondered if they knew how loved they were while they were still alive.

Sure, there are times when the person who has died bears no resemblance to the wonderful human being who is being described at the funeral service. Some people seem to have no redeeming features during their lifetime but suddenly develop a much kinder and more lovable disposition at the time of death. That’s not the kind of person I’m talking about here. I’m talking about good people who have done their best with the days that they’ve been given on this planet yet have gone to their grave never really knowing just how much they’ve meant to those close to them or how they’ve influenced those whose lives they’ve touched.

A Live Wake

Last week during the Simply Living segment on 98.5 Sonshine FM, Jill Bonanno and I talked about having a ‘live wake’ to express love and appreciation before someone passes away. You can hear our conversation by clicking the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

It wouldn’t need to be a morbid affair. The next time someone you love is celebrating a significant birthday you could perhaps invite friends and family to say a few words which would demonstrate how they feel. I’ve heard of people who’ve asked others to send stories and photos before a celebration so that they could put together a book of appreciation.

Who needs to know how you feel about them?

On a personal level, have you ever taken the time to send a note, a letter, or even an email to someone to tell them how much they mean to you? When was the last time you looked into someone’s eyes and told them you truly love them?

Saying something like, “They know how I feel”, is a copout. How can they really know if you haven’t told them? And if you haven’t told them in recent weeks don’t take it for granted that they still feel secure about their place in your heart.

How else can we show appreciation?

Can you think of other ways to ensure that those you care about know, really know, with every part of their being, that they are loved and appreciated?

Don’t let anyone you know die without knowing the impact they’ve made in your life. None of us know how much time we have left so don’t put it off. Tell someone today how important they are to you.

[audio:http://mpegmedia.sonshinefm.ws/feeds/SIM130910_1521.mp3]

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Carina's Funeral

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, Pauline’s sister, Carina Berg, passed away at 6:30 Sunday evening at Bethesda Hospital, Claremont. Pauline and her parents were at her side when she passed from this life.

A service to celebrate her life and remember the impact she made on each one of us will be held at 10:00 a.m. this Friday at Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church, 497 Marmion Street, Booragoon. Please feel free to join us, either as a friend of Carina or to support her family.

Please pass on this information to anyone you know who was a friend of Carina.

Thank you for your prayers, kind thoughts and support over the past month as Carina battled the cancer which took her life.



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The sad life and death of Dolores Aguilar

coffin.jpgWhat do you hope people will say about you when you die? Does it really matter to you?

Sometimes I wonder who’ll turn up at my funeral when my life here is over. Will those who do show up have good things to say or will their silence tell a different story?

I will have no chance to control what’s said when the time comes but I can do something about it while I’m still here by the way I choose to live my life.

Will I leave friends and family with good memories? I guess that’s up to me and the choices I make every day of my life.

I wonder about what kind of difference I’m making to the wider world. Will I be missed by more than those close to me? Will there be those I’ve never met who will be thankful that I was once alive? Am I making a difference through my work and through the the volunteer tasks I undertake?

I was saddened to read the following obituary for a lady who died earlier this month.

Dolores Aguilar
1929 – Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

It’s hard to imagine that anyone would write such an obituary but they did. I checked this one out on Snopes just to make sure it wasn’t a hoax.

How devestating to think that this woman could have made such an impression on the world she left behind. How sad that no one thought enough of her to even arrange a service to farewell her.

When they finally shut the lid on the box and send me on my way, I hope that someone will shed a tear. How do you hope to be remembered?



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Chilean man cheats death

CoffinDid you see the news that an 81 year old man from Chile shocked his friends and family by waking up in his coffin at his own wake?

When Feliberto Carrasco’s family found his body limp and cold, they were convinced his time was up. Instead of calling a doctor to confirm their suspicions, they immediately called a funeral home. They had the funeral home dress him in his finest suit for the wake and his relatives gathered to bid him a final farewell in the small Chilean village of Angol.

Feliberto’s nephew Pedro told the Ultimas Noticias newspaper, “I couldn’t believe it. I thought I must be mistaken and I shut my eyes. When I opened them again, my uncle was looking at me. I started to cry and ran to get something to open up the coffin to get him out.”

Feliberto said he was not in any pain and only asked for a glass of water.

I suppose when he finally does die they’ll just tell him to stop kidding around. At least they’ll get a doctor in next time.

Mind you, I think he’s had a privilege that not many of us get. He’s been able to see just who would turn up at his funeral. I’ve sometimes wondered who would turn up to see me off when my time comes. Looks like he got that opportunity.

Have you ever wondered who would shed a tear at your passing?

I only hope that the surprise of seeing Feliberto alive wasn’t too much for his friends and relatives. The last thing you’d need is for the shock to cause another funeral.



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