Looks like I'm going to live forever

November 19, 2009
by Rodney Olsen
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weddingcake.jpgThe TimesOnline is reporting that men married to smart women live longer. That being the case, looks like I’ve got many good years ahead of me.

Swedish scientists have discovered that long life and good health have nothing to do with a man’s education and everything to do with his wife’s. Men married to smart women live longer — simple.

Pauline’s not only very beautiful, she’s very clever. I may well live forever.

While the article goes on to say that it’s pretty much down to smart women being able to control healthier diet and exercise choices for their blokes, I reckon that there’s a lot more to it than that. Being married to a smart woman has plenty of benefits. I love being married to someone who’s intelligent, funny, caring, capable, generous and quite simply adorable in every way.

On top of that, research has already shown that simply being married is a good head start to living longer.

The Office for National Statistics has published definitive proof that married couples live longer, enjoy better health and can rely on more home care in old age than their divorced, widowed, single and cohabiting peers. – TimesOnline

I know that research and statistics can prove just about anything but I can assure you of one thing, while I fully intend being around for many years to come, even if I were to drop off the perch tomorrow, I’ll leave this earth a better person for having known and loved the incredible woman I’m privileged to call my wife.



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Can living together lead to divorce?

July 16, 2009
by Rodney Olsen
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weddingcake.jpgA new study has revealed that couples who choose to live together before marriage are more likely to have their relationship end in divorce than those who wait until after the wedding to move in together.

With more than 70 percent of couples in the United States living together before marrying, and I’d guess a similar number in Australia, this study gives an interesting insight into the alarmingly high divorce rates in both countries.

The study, carried out by researchers from the University of Denver, also shows that those who wait are more likely to have a more satisfying marriage.

An AFP article, Living together before marriage ups chance of divorce: study, quoted researchers explaining some of the main elements of the research findings.

“We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting,” said senior researcher and study co-author Galena Rhoades.

“It seems wise to talk about commitment and what living together might mean for the future of the relationship before moving in together, especially because cohabiting likely makes it harder to break up compared to dating,” said another researcher, Scott Stanley.

Of course it would be a gross over simplification to suggest that waiting leads to ‘happily ever after’ and living together is a direct pathway to divorce, but it is well worth looking at the research and seeing what we can discover.

Why do people choose living together over marriage? I wonder if it has a lot to do with seeing the breakdown of so many other marriages, especially parents’ marriages.

Some research from a separate study that has appeared in the Journal of Family Issues says the most common reason people choose to live together before marriage is that they want to spend more time together, followed by convenience, followed by testing the relationship.

Testing the relationship used to be the biggest reason but researcher Galena Rhoades suggests it’s also the worst possible reason to move in together.

Cohabiting to test a relationship turns out to be associated with the most problems in relationships.

So what do you think? Are we better off sticking with traditional values and waiting? Can living together lead to long lasting relationships if we are sure about the long term direction of the partnership or does that still lack the commitment of marriage?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.



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Characteristics of a good marriage

March 10, 2009
by Rodney Olsen
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kiss.jpgOnce a fortnight during my morning radio programme on 98.5 Sonshine FM I chat to Rob Furlong about relationships of various kinds. We discuss how to develop better relationships. The only person we can truly control in our relationships is our self so we also discuss ways to move forward personally so that we can bring everything we should to a relationship.

A couple of weeks ago we started discussing the building blocks of marriage. That segment was just the beginning in a journey that we’ll take over the coming months as we seek to look at the most important characteristics of a good, solid marriage.

Today we looked briefly at a couple of the characteristics which we’ll unpack more fully in the months ahead.

We started off looking at the concept that men and women complete each other, not compete with each other. Rob believes this is the basis of the character trait of Courage as we face life together.

The second trait we touched on today was that of Love, noting that marriage is a permanent relationship.

If you’d like to hear what Rob has to say just click the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

What do you think are the essentials of a good marriage? Are there things you know now that you wish you’d known before you married? If you’re single, how are you discovering what you need to know to equip you for marriage?



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The Building Blocks of a Good Marriage

February 24, 2009
by Rodney Olsen
4 Comments

lovers.jpgAccording to Australian Family First senator Steve Fielding, divorce adds to the impact of global warming as couples switch to wasteful single lifestyles.

His claims were highlighted today in the News.com.au story, Divorce adds to climate change says Family First senator Steve Fielding.

We understand that there is a social problem (with divorce), but now we’re seeing there is also environmental impact as well on the footprint.

He’s certainly got a point. If divorce means that families that once occupied one household are now split between two homes, they will be using up more resources than if they stayed together.

While I think there is merit in looking after the planet, I think there are far greater reasons to keep marriages together. I understand that it may not always be possible and that many readers already know the pain of divorce. Although I’ve never experienced it I know that it must be a devastating experience and that there aren’t too many people who would take such a step lightly.

So if we’re to keep marriages together, even turning difficult marriages around, we need to go back to basics and understand the building blocks of marriage and our part in keeping a relationship not only alive but thriving and growing.

Once a fortnight during my morning radio programme on 98.5 Sonshine FM I chat to Rob Furlong about relationships of various kinds. We discuss how to develop better relationships. The only person we can truly control in our relationships is our self so we also discuss ways to move forward personally so that we can bring everything we should to a relationship.

This morning we started discussing the building blocks of marriage. Today’s segment was just the beginning in a journey that we’ll take over the coming months as we seek to look at the most important characteristics of a good, solid marriage.

If you’d like to hear what Rob has to say just click the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

What do you think are the essentials of a good marriage? Are there things you know now that you wish you’d known before you married? If you’re single, how are you discovering what you need to know to equip you for marriage?

[audio:http://mpegmedia.sonshinefm.ws/feeds/ROB240209_1251.mp3]

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Sweet Sixteen

December 12, 2008
by Rodney Olsen
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Sixteen years ago today I said, “I do.”

In January 1992 I met the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known and in December of the same year I watched her walk down the aisle and promise to love me for life.

I love Pauline more and more as each year passes.

It’s hard to believe that I could find someone so amazing; someone who was prepared to commit herself to travelling life’s roads with me no matter what the journey would bring.



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