Growing Families DVDs

If you’re looking for some good, Australian, parenting resources, you really can’t go past the stuff that David and Charissa Scotford are producing. Have a look at the promotional video in this post and you’ll get an idea of what they’re producing in their efforts to help families.

David and Charissa are guests on my 98.5 Sonshine FM radio programme every fortnight and they have some great practical tips to becoming better parents and growing great families. You can check out the range of DVDs they’ve produced at the Growing Families DVDs Website.



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Can living together lead to divorce?

weddingcake.jpgA new study has revealed that couples who choose to live together before marriage are more likely to have their relationship end in divorce than those who wait until after the wedding to move in together.

With more than 70 percent of couples in the United States living together before marrying, and I’d guess a similar number in Australia, this study gives an interesting insight into the alarmingly high divorce rates in both countries.

The study, carried out by researchers from the University of Denver, also shows that those who wait are more likely to have a more satisfying marriage.

An AFP article, Living together before marriage ups chance of divorce: study, quoted researchers explaining some of the main elements of the research findings.

“We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting,” said senior researcher and study co-author Galena Rhoades.

“It seems wise to talk about commitment and what living together might mean for the future of the relationship before moving in together, especially because cohabiting likely makes it harder to break up compared to dating,” said another researcher, Scott Stanley.

Of course it would be a gross over simplification to suggest that waiting leads to ‘happily ever after’ and living together is a direct pathway to divorce, but it is well worth looking at the research and seeing what we can discover.

Why do people choose living together over marriage? I wonder if it has a lot to do with seeing the breakdown of so many other marriages, especially parents’ marriages.

Some research from a separate study that has appeared in the Journal of Family Issues says the most common reason people choose to live together before marriage is that they want to spend more time together, followed by convenience, followed by testing the relationship.

Testing the relationship used to be the biggest reason but researcher Galena Rhoades suggests it’s also the worst possible reason to move in together.

Cohabiting to test a relationship turns out to be associated with the most problems in relationships.

So what do you think? Are we better off sticking with traditional values and waiting? Can living together lead to long lasting relationships if we are sure about the long term direction of the partnership or does that still lack the commitment of marriage?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.



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Characteristics of a good marriage

kiss.jpgOnce a fortnight during my morning radio programme on 98.5 Sonshine FM I chat to Rob Furlong about relationships of various kinds. We discuss how to develop better relationships. The only person we can truly control in our relationships is our self so we also discuss ways to move forward personally so that we can bring everything we should to a relationship.

A couple of weeks ago we started discussing the building blocks of marriage. That segment was just the beginning in a journey that we’ll take over the coming months as we seek to look at the most important characteristics of a good, solid marriage.

Today we looked briefly at a couple of the characteristics which we’ll unpack more fully in the months ahead.

We started off looking at the concept that men and women complete each other, not compete with each other. Rob believes this is the basis of the character trait of Courage as we face life together.

The second trait we touched on today was that of Love, noting that marriage is a permanent relationship.

If you’d like to hear what Rob has to say just click the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

What do you think are the essentials of a good marriage? Are there things you know now that you wish you’d known before you married? If you’re single, how are you discovering what you need to know to equip you for marriage?



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What love language do you speak?

lovelanguages.jpgHave you ever tried having a conversation with someone who speaks a different language to you? You may get some of the main points across but you really don’t feel as if you’re able to freely communicate.

Author Gary Chapman believes that we face a similar situation when we try to express and receive love. In his ver popular book, The Five Love Languages, he suggests that there are five love languages. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is ‘spoken’ to some degree by all people, we will usually speak one primary language. He says that all are important and should be ranked to help us understand more about ourselves and those we love.

So what are the five love languages? Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Where do you think you fit?

The essential thought behind Gary Chapman’s work is that we can be doing our best to communicate love yet it feels that we’re just not getting through. It could be because we’re speaking the wrong love language.

Life Skills Trainer, Jill Bonanno, joined me on Friday morning on 98.5 Sonshine FM for our weekly radio segment, Simply Living. As part of our monthly Book Club we reviewed Chapman’s book and spoke to listeners who have read the book.

You can hear our conversation by clicking the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

I’d be very interested in your point of view. Leave your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

Have you heard of the five love languages before? Have you worked out which is your primary love language? Do you know the primary love languages of those you love?



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The Building Blocks of a Good Marriage

lovers.jpgAccording to Australian Family First senator Steve Fielding, divorce adds to the impact of global warming as couples switch to wasteful single lifestyles.

His claims were highlighted today in the News.com.au story, Divorce adds to climate change says Family First senator Steve Fielding.

We understand that there is a social problem (with divorce), but now we’re seeing there is also environmental impact as well on the footprint.

He’s certainly got a point. If divorce means that families that once occupied one household are now split between two homes, they will be using up more resources than if they stayed together.

While I think there is merit in looking after the planet, I think there are far greater reasons to keep marriages together. I understand that it may not always be possible and that many readers already know the pain of divorce. Although I’ve never experienced it I know that it must be a devastating experience and that there aren’t too many people who would take such a step lightly.

So if we’re to keep marriages together, even turning difficult marriages around, we need to go back to basics and understand the building blocks of marriage and our part in keeping a relationship not only alive but thriving and growing.

Once a fortnight during my morning radio programme on 98.5 Sonshine FM I chat to Rob Furlong about relationships of various kinds. We discuss how to develop better relationships. The only person we can truly control in our relationships is our self so we also discuss ways to move forward personally so that we can bring everything we should to a relationship.

This morning we started discussing the building blocks of marriage. Today’s segment was just the beginning in a journey that we’ll take over the coming months as we seek to look at the most important characteristics of a good, solid marriage.

If you’d like to hear what Rob has to say just click the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

What do you think are the essentials of a good marriage? Are there things you know now that you wish you’d known before you married? If you’re single, how are you discovering what you need to know to equip you for marriage?

[audio:http://mpegmedia.sonshinefm.ws/feeds/ROB240209_1251.mp3]

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