Romancing your spouse

October 7, 2008
by Rodney Olsen
4 Comments

Today’s challenge is to pick a couple of items (or more) from the list and put them into action.

Christianity Today has published a list writen by Jill Savage titled The Most (Unusual) Romantic Things. It’s a list of 20 simple ideas that will help you let your ‘significant other’ that you’re thinking of them. Go on … check out the list and get started.

We can get so caught up thinking that romance is all about the big gestures that we forget about the little things that say ‘I love you’. I spotted a few things on the list that I’m already doing and a few that I should start doing.

I’d love to get your comments and ideas for a few more simple things that will help keep romance alive. What are the little things you do that communicate your love? What little things does your spouse do that remind you that you are loved? What are the little things you wish your spouse would do for you?

Thanks to Bowden McElroy for pointing me to the article.



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Abuse, adultery and desertion

September 3, 2008
by Rodney Olsen
5 Comments

NotUnderBondage.jpgWhat kind of God would insist on a woman staying in a relationship with an abusive husband? Some Christians believe that divorce is totally unacceptable under any circumstance but is that really the case?

There are very few people who enter marriage with anything but the best of intentions and a strong desire to make a life long committment, but for those wanting to stay within God’s plan, what happens when people find themselves in a destructive relationship?

Under what circumstances does the Bible permit divorce?

Does the Bible allow for a divorced Christian to remarry?

Divorce and remarriage remains a hot topic in Christian circles with a wide variety of opinions on the subject.

Barbara Roberts has written a book titled Not Under Bondage – Biblical Divorce for Abuse, Adultery and Desertion. I recently spoke to her about her book and her journey to recovery.

You can hear what she has to say by clicking the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

[audio:http://mpegmedia.sonshinefm.ws/feeds/SUN090308_1450.mp3]

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A Special Day for Getting Married

August 7, 2008
by Rodney Olsen
6 Comments

weddingcake.jpgI’ve heard that there’ll be a big spike in the number of marriages taking place tomorrow, especially in China.

A lot of couples think that the 8th of the 8th, 2008 is a significant date and so they want to tie the knot on that day. Some think that it’s a lucky date and I’m sure that many think it’s romantic to be married on such a unique date.

I reckon a big reason for choosing that date is that the guys want to make sure that they don’t forget their anniversary in the years to come. They figure that if they choose a significant date like that they’ll be less likely to forget that special day each year and it’ll help them remember how many years they’ve been married too.

I’ve heard of people forgetting their anniversary and it’s not a good idea. I look forward to my anniversary each year and so I can’t imagine that I’ll ever forget. Mind you, we got married on the 12th of the 12th, 1992 so that helps a bit.

I dread to think what might happen to any of those guys getting married tomorrow, on such a special day, if they still forget their anniversary.

What are you like at remembering special dates? Have you ever forgotten an anniversary and lived to tell the tale? Has you spouse forgotten your anniversary? Do have any special way of remembering dates?



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Does Marriage Change Friendships?

February 28, 2008
by Rodney Olsen
21 Comments

friend.jpgSteve left an interesting comment on the previous post regarding friendship. I’m hoping that we can get a discussion going to provide a few answers.

In part, this is what he had to say:

Here’s a question I battle with everyday. I could be generalising here too; Why do single friends phone and come over your place every weekend and then once they get married, you never hear from them again.

Does marriage make life too busy? Does your partner refuse you to still have your single friends?

Steve was part of the church I grew up in many years ago. It’s been a long while since we’ve caught up. 

I left a lengthy reply in the comments section of the last post but I though it’d be worth getting some other perspectives? Are you a married person who no longer hangs out with your single friends or a single person who is losing married friends? Have you found that things stayed pretty much the same after marriage?

Here are some of the thoughts I shared in my reply.

Relationships certainly do change after marriage. I know that in some relationships one or the other partner will ‘forbid’ their other half from getting together with some of their friends. I’d hate to be in such a relationship. I would never dictate such things to Pauline and she would never dictate such things to me.

I think it’s right that a greater emphasis is placed onto building the marriage partnership than on other friendships. Things can’t remain the same forever. On the other hand I think it’s wrong to become so insular in a marriage relationship that you break long term friendships. Even married couples need to remain as part of a wider community.

Friendships are based on a lot of things including shared interests and proximity.

I think marriage does change your interests somewhat, even more so when you add children into the mix. A single person will often have different interests to a married person.

As for proximity, Pauline and I are now living across the other side of the city from where we used to live so there are many people, both married and single, that we no longer see as often.

I think that friendships begin, change and end for a variety of reasons. We all go through various ‘seasons’ in our lives. Things change, we move on.

I’d also have to say that it’s not all down to those who are married. It goes both ways. A number of our single friends stopped staying in touch after we married. While scheduling is sometimes an issue we’ve never said ‘no’ to an invitation to get together with a single friend.

So what do you think? Have you felt hurt when a friend has moved to a different phase of their life? Have you noticed this phenomenon in your own life?



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Dr Pat Love in Perth

January 31, 2008
by Rodney Olsen
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For more than twenty five years, Doctor Pat Love has contributed to relationship education and personal development through her books, articles, training programs, speaking and media appearances.

Her ever-popular books such as Hot Monogamyand The Truth About Love have literally taken her around the world spreading the good news about marriage and committed relationships. Pat is in demand as an expert presenter. She has appeared many times on Oprah, The Today Show and CNN.

Pat Love joined me in the studio at 98.5 Sonshine FM today for a chat about her work.

We all have a yearning for intimate relationships yet we usually fail to give relationships the care they need. Is it a fear of vulnerability or do we just lack the tools to make relationships work? You can hear what Pat has to say by listening to our conversation. Just click the play button on the audio player at the bottom of this post.

Pat Love’s latest book is titled Why Women Talk and Men Walk: How to Improve Your Relationship Without Discussing It which is also sold as How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. It’s a book which has been very warmly received by men. It was very interesting hearing Pat’s understanding of the different roles that we play in relationships.



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