Do you know when you’ve stayed too long and it’s time to leave?
Have you ever had guests visit who don’t seem to get the hint?
I heard a day or so back that a German woman had to call emergency services to rescue her after a friend dropped in at her apartment then talked for thirty hours straight. I can’t even stay awake for thirty hours but apparently this lady’s guest just rambled on about personal problems and became increasingly intoxicated.
The 48 year old lady dialled the emergency hotline after many failed attempts at encouraging her guest to leave. She didn’t know what else to do but to call an ambulance.
When the paramedics refused to carry the guest out of her apartment, the woman called the police. Thankfully they picked up the friend and drove her home.
I hope if I ever outstay my welcome when visiting a friend that I take the hint.
There are times when we have to let a friend disrupt our life so that we can hear what’s going on in theirs. We need to be open to hearing their pain and to journeying with them during the dark times but there comes a point where we need to say, ‘enough’. Helping someone in their time of need may inconvenience us and we may need to rearrange our plans now and then, but if we’re to be of any use to those we’re seeking to help, we need to create boundaries.
If I need to stay up all night to help a friend through a dark time, that’s one thing, but thirty hours straight is of no use to anyone.
Are you able to set boundaries that help you and others?
If you’re just on a social visit with friends, how do you decide when it’s time to go?
Have you had friends stay far too late and how did you let them know it was time to go? I heard of a guy who used to just get up and go to bed if his guests stayed too long. Probably not the most subtle or sensitive way to get the message across.
I’d love to hear what you have to say. Just click on the comments link of this post and have your say.
Do you think some of your friends would enjoy reading Can you take a hint?? Please use the buttons below to share the post. Thanks.
Wow, just wow. I can’t say that I’ve ever had that problem, but it’s good to know that if I do, emergency services will be there to help me out. 🙂
Hello Crystal. Thankfully it seems like a rare occurrence. 🙂
Many years ago, when I was single, there was a guy who used to turn up at my place once a week at about 10:30 or 11:00 at night, just when I was about to head off to bed, and hang around for hours. I have to admit that I’d occasionally turn off all the lights early on that night of the week and stay as quiet as I could in the hope that he’d think I was out and just head home. It generally worked.
I guess one thing you can do is say. “Well, you’re welcome to stay. Make yourself comfortable. But I have stuff I need to get done.”
If my family stays a little too long, we don’t push them out. We kind of just start cleaning up. They usually get the hint.
Oh, it also helps to have a child. When my son was about 4, we had guests come to our house. I kind of pictured it being a few hour visit. Lunch and an hour or two afterwards. But they seemed to want to stay all day–they hinted towards staying until late afternoon/early evening. I kind of understood though because they drove an hour to get here. But I slightly dreaded that long of a visit.
My son started whining for them to leave so we could go swimming. I was embarrassed and gently scolded him for being rude. Tried to shush him up. But I was secretly kind of relieved/happy. We of course told our friends they were welcome to stay. But the seed was planted and they left earlier than they had talked about.
I have had this happen more than once.
Our house seems to be a mecca of people coming and going.
I am not sure I like unannounced visitors and the volume that we have, but one instance, there was one fellow with his three younger brothers and sisters who were at one point half asleep that wouldn’t leave.
No amounts of hints, promising to get together again soon, or yawns helped.
Finally, my mother who is older and less tactful than me sent him packing, citing that was no way to treat children, keeping them up so late.
The young man is now afraid of my mom. 🙂
I can’t imagine why this young man needed to stay and didn’t want to be responsible.
Hi Rodney, Came across your site and stayed to read your post. I think it is rude to just drop in on someone it’s like saying “I knew you had nothing to do, so I thought I’d stop to visit.” I have trained my friends and family to “please call to see if I’m home or not busy before stopping by” Great post but I better get going before you call 911 on me lol. Thanks for a interesting post to make us all think about when enough is enough!
Rodney, thanks so much for commenting on my post about modesty. It was great to get a male perspective on this issue! Have a great day…
Thanks for dropping in, Cindy. Glad I could add a male perspective to your post. I wish more men would take realise the influence they have.
I think one of the biggest issues regarding modesty for young girls is that fathers aren’t playing their role. It’s one thing to have mothers talking to their daughters, and that is essential, but us guys have to step up and play our part.