The Real Me

Robert Redford

Do you know me … I mean really know me … or do you only know the me I want you to know? Is there a difference or disconnect between who I am and who you think I am?

Does anyone know the real you or only the you that you like to present to others?

I once heard a story about veteran Hollywood actor Robert Redford. Looking online I’ve seen a few variations on the story but they all involve him walking to an elevator and having a fan ask him a question to which he responded with a very interesting statement.

Robert Redford was walking through a hotel one day. A woman saw him and followed him to the elevator.

“Are you the real Robert Redford?” she asked him with excitement.

As the elevator doors closed, he replied, “Only when I am alone!”

A pretty profound answer to a simple question.

We get to present ourselves in many different ways, especially with the rise in social media. We can have people believe all kinds of things about us depending on the way we act in public, but does the person we are in public match the person we are in private?

I need to ask myself that question. Do my thoughts and actions when I’m alone match what I say I believe? Do I say one thing but act differently when I have time by myself? It’s a fairly good indicator of whether my life is on track or whether I need to reassess some areas of life.

The real ‘us’ is the person we are when we’re alone.

It’s a mark of integrity when there is consistency in who we are across a range of settings. The difficulty is that even with the best of intentions we’re not always going to get it right every time. There’s always going to be a battle between what we want to be and what we are. We can’t be perfect because there is a spiritual battle going on.

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. – Romans 7:15-20 (ESV)

Have you experienced that battle for yourself? You want to be live in a way that’s consistent with what you believe but time and time again you fall short. You’ve tried ‘will power’ and you know that it’s not enough. All the trying in the world won’t change us from the inside.

That’s why we need God’s help to bring the person we are when we’re alone, the real us, closer to the person we portray in public.

So who is the real you? Is it only the person you are when you’re alone or are you able to show the world who you really are?



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About the author

Rodney Olsen

Rodney is a husband, father, cyclist, blogger and podcaster from Perth Western Australia.

He has worked in radio at Perth's media ministry Sonshine for over 25 years and has previously worked at ministries such as Compassion Australia and Bible Society.

The views he expresses here are his own.

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2 Comments

  • I like that Redford story. Had never heard it before. As a pastor, I am caught in this conundrum. People want to and then don’t want to see the real me. Know what I mean? They want to think I have it all together but at the same time they want to see I’m just like them.

    • So true. As someone who works in Christian ministry and for years was in a high profile position within the local Christian community I know that tension.

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